China 2007

Everything you wrote on the blog is very true. This feeling of emptiness and void is something that everyone experiences, and whether he/ she shows it just depends on that particular individual. This “void” can hit you at random times – as you are walking back to your car from a library late at night, or in the midst of a big group of people at a party. The latter is more of a twilight zone feeling. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the cycle of trying to “accomplish more” that we lead ourselves to believe that this feeling of void will be gone once we get that promotion, lose that extra five pounds, get a boy friend, pass the bar, etc. And c’mon. it’s not like we are the rulers of the universe, but we really don’t have anything to complain about – on ALL accounts. Most of all, we are healthy. As we are getting a bit “older” I realize how important our health is. I mean I still understand why (even up until like 2 years ago) we thought that getting really sick was one way to lose weight (hahah), I certainly do NOT take our health for granted now. Esther, now that you have John as well, I know how concerned you are for his well being as well. Having people you love and care for is a blessing. But it also means you have more worries. Now I understand why mothers would get mad at their kids for getting sick. I really don’t think it’s enough that we just go to church on Sundays nowadays. I feel hypocritical for preaching like this, as Ive only been in a small group for about 2 months now – but I definitely feel its importance. I mean – to be completely honest, youre clumped in an eclectic group of people you normally wouldn’t hang with, but youre all connected under one bond – the Lord. As corny as it sounds, we have to remind ourselves on a daily basis how happy we truly are. We have great friends who truly know us/ love us; family; successful careers; attractive (ok this sounds really conceited…)…And yet we feel this void. Ice cream, losing the 10 pounds, a new outfit, will definitely make the void smaller – but it doesn’t stay small/ nor disappear forever. You guys – take a moment and think back to when you guys were the happiest. I was definitely the happiest my sophomore year of college – no special reason. This was when I was the most involved with church; talked to you (esther and tina) on a daily/ nightly basis; exercised every single day; was not planning for the future and thinking about making money, etc…. everything was so much more simple! Esther – I mean timing is right. If you were to have a baby right now, it would definitely make sense. But there is no such thing as perfect timing – for anything. And if you and john want a baby now – than go for it. You are only going to get busier – not less. I guarantee you that. Don’t stress out so much on the house you need, the yard john needs to have, the savings… We always tend to compare ourselves to the haves and have nots. But seriously, esther – you do have it good. Having a baby is definitely a blessing, and I know you will be the best mother in the world. But it is not the sole answer to this “feeling” you and john both discussed about. You know what I mean? But the fact that you and john could have such a conversation is great…. Seriously. Anyways. I understand and agree. When I get back, we need to have a slumber party and just chill….miss you.

Have you ever thought why can't we just be satisfied with our lives? each of us have accomplished things and have success..Susie is a lawyer! Tina has a great job and a future husband! I am starting a new job and have a great husband!  However, i dont seem to be happy..what am i missing in my life? why are we never satisfied? 

HELLO! OR as my sister would say Chie chien!

how is everyone?? First and foremost, Esther song, Grace updated me on your latest diet status.. Don't be discouraged..  You were too gung ho and extreme.. Take it easy and lose those pounds again. You know you did for your wedding, you know you're able to do it 2 yrs after..so just do it again now.

Grace and me are coming down next week so let's play!! hey ho...  Unni, I miss you a lot.  it's been over 2 months but it feels like 5 months.. Have fun in Korea this weekend. and please familiarize yourself with some korean boys again.  Esther song, me and grace want to go come down 1st or 2nd week of November to celebrate her big 2-5 b-day. We were thinking of having it at Jlounge. So try to keep those two weekends open.

 How's Tom and Katie?? I haven't talked to you in ages.  The new job is stressful to say the least... I miss my good ol' days at FOX. So chill..and the people are so much better looking. I can't stress it enough.. I kinda miss seeing the Paris Hilton wanna be's and the metrosexual lookin guys..  There really is a difference between having dissheveled hair through effort as opposed to truly 'just -got- outa -bed and hair smashed across the face look.

 Anyway I don't see Arnold as much as I want to.. He's super busy with school and activities and exams.. ALREADY right? I kinda want us to date for a yr MAX ... even 8-9 months..and hurry up and get engaged.  We've been together over 2.5 yrs.. The next yr will be essential for us..but afterwards it's like let's get on w/ the show and take it to the next level already.   NOT that I'm pressuring him or anythin.. =) trust me, i don't care much for ring and wedding. no, i don't want a dinky little ring..but our situation is different w/ him being a student and all.  esther and unni, you guys will have to help me plan a cozy wedding against a tight budget.

 Either case, don't like the new job, but loving living w/ Grace and seeing Arnie in the weekends! Cheers!

 unni, I think you're up next to write..

byyeee..

s,

Hey chicas, loves of my life, best friend, apples of my eye, the yins to my yang, you guys got the point of how much i love you?? haha

So its been awhile since ive touched base with ya'll (my homage to britney). First and foremost, my diet! haha So last week was my last weigh in with my nutritionist because i only lost one pound the last week but i lost 3percent body fat. She doesnt want me to get less than 122 but im like, "of course, you are totally right." NOT!! Hello, if i can get to 115, i will! that was my mindset. Yes i was proud to have lost 13 pounds in 4 weeks and yes i was proud that i could finally eat some carbs without feeling guilty. That was wednesday..by thursday, i was eating a pint of ben and jerrys. YES, i speak the truth when i say i was eating so much chocolate, ice cream and carbs this weekend, john was laughing at me. NO JOKE! I thought i could moderate and this was a new lifestyle for me. I definitely overestimated my will power. I bought 3 small cakes because anna and eric invited john and me over for dinner on friday night. I was thinking that if i only bought small cakes, i wouldnt overeat. The cakes were like a gateway drug..I swear because by saturday, i bought low fat ice cream sandwiches and they were done by sunday morning. All of them! By the way, i swear if you guys ever tell anyone i will kill you but has anna and eric ever heard of salt or pepper?? They made us beef skewers marinated in beer to make it soft. well after that, you need to put some salt or pepper or some type of seasoning on it..Yes, it was healthy but it was bland as hell. I was putting so much gochujang on the suckers that my butthole hurt the next day! haha

Needless to say, after a weekend of ice cream, tons of cereal, bread, chosun galbi (damn rice is good), cheetos..Yes, i ate things i normally dont even eat this weekend, I am fat again! So i need to start eating healthy again but with carbs now. So i get to have bran cereal and whole wheat stuff..i need to moderate my bad sweets..like limit them to a couple times a week..

 

Anyhow, here is the job update..so not last thursday but the thursday before, I was dying..I had to finish up tom's clothes for his press tour for his next movie. I literally worked for days without sleeping. DAYS!  i felt bad because arnold was in town and i couldnt even see him because i was running around like a scientologist crazy person! Anyhow, i was done with that specific project by monday because that was when the jet left with his items. But by then, i hadnt slept before 4am at all so i couldnt sleep. I was up all night. I mean all night. Then every couple hours, john wakes up saying, "omg, you havent fallen asleep yet? Try to sleep."

DUDE, annoying! YES, this was my plan. i was thinking, id rather just sit there and stare at my dark ceiling then sleep. YEs john, yes..I wasnt trying these past 7 hours to sleep!

 

Needless to say, by thursday, i took a sleeping pill. Then i couldnt wake up on friday and saturday and sunday and today! But weird thing is last night i had a hard time sleeping because i stopped taking tylenol pm.

As for job, i now have one more project left for tomkat. Their new house closet. OK, you guys can not tell anyone this secret. I should sell this for money! anyhow, the kids with nicole, Bella and connor, are not living with tom anymore. And they arent living with nicole. I know this doesnt seem big, but its HUGE! the new house isnt that big. its whatevers..And the design is horrible! horrible! literally, i dont know if they choose to hire dumbass architects but they sure did hire dumbass architects. Who puts a toilet behind where the headboard of the bed will be! i cant even start to list the problems of the house without just cracking up. Tods- i dont start til the end of the month in the office. I know amanda is back from her honeymoon but im scared to talk to anyone because i know that means shes getting fired soon. whatever, she did bad stuff but still right after your honeymoon is a bad time to find out that you are losing your job!

 

So i went to visit my manager on friday because her assistant, who does all my dirty work like finding out stuff about auditions etc, left! it was his last day on friday. I am totally annoyed because now i have no one to trust there. do you remember the show that i went to producers for? its an awesome awesome show by the creators of alias..its like an alias meets bourne. well it turns out that the producers just dont think im the girl. which sucks cuz casting thought i was..they want to keep me for possibly the lead bad girl..which really really really sucks because Heaven, the lead protagonist, is an amazing amazing emmy award wining part..i really hope that they change their minds..

 BRITNEY SPEARS- did you watch her performance?? i had to stop it in the middle because i felt so bad for her. She was tripping all over the stage and doing everything so halfhearted. My heart hurt to watch it. DAMN RHIANNA, laughing at britney! yes brit brit is nutz but she is britney..

 johns been working weekends too to set up projects before the strike. its very AHN TAK GUH WUH. did you guys get that? Its hard to think that he might be out of a job for 1 year or alittle less than 1 year. I think he would go nutz during that time. but he is helpless...its not like anything he can do can stop the strike.

I went to jin patisserie the other day with caroline, my director of pr at tods in ny. She was visiting and i had some of the macaroons. DAMN they were good. better than boule..i wish i could share some with you guys!

 

Susie lee?? china=communist=visa! does she not know that?? i cant say anymore about that situation..or i can but i wont..

 

love you all!

Hi girls! Thank you for all your gifts, thoughts and food for my birthday! I love you two so much!

 

Anyhow, im done with the nice thoughts..Why is it freaken so damn hot???

Friday, I had my dinner with the girls! it was so good seeing everyone! I was so happy that tina and grace could make it. I appreciated it so much! we ate a lot of kimchi and beef! my stomach was in shock from it. I had diarrhea at the restaurant! at least it came out! then we went to a bar which was way overpriced! what was susie lee thinking?? seriously, could we surround ourselves with any more ahjusshee byuntaes? i was so good there..i had a couple of sips or wine and just one bite of each of my 4 cakes..I couldnt believe i was so disciplined! it was fun just talking to everyone and bonding!

saturday mornning, i woke up and i had the worst stomach pains ever. but not enough to have more diarrhea. we packed and went to johns parents house. Johns brother and family were visiting so we decided to stay at the parents house to play with everyone. Besides, it was the Cal vs Tennesse game, maybe one of the biggest games of the year. Tennesse is a good good team and they are ranked pretty high. They killed Cal last year which set the tone for the rest of the year so John was really nervous about this year. john never gets to watch a game iwth his brother so he made it clear that he wanted the kids to be taken care of so that david could enjoy a game. david is always busy with the kids so this was a treat for him. I played with the kids and it was so bad. The kids just went outside and played iwth the dogs. Cal won..Thank the lord..now people are saying Cal could go to the national championships. john isnt jumping the gun that much but he was happy. The horrible thing is that johns parents didnt have working ac. it broke and they never fixed it. His house was so damn hot that i wanted to die! i really wanted to just scream and die! i couldnt sleep, or do anything. i was sticky from the heat and the dirty house! why does johns mom never clean? or is that her idea of a clean house? its funny because helen, david's wife, said the same thing. She quietly said to me, " i dont know whats worse..the heat or the sticky dirty floors?" haha

 sunday, we woke up and went to costco and soup plantation. I was so bad at soup plantation. I overate so much. It was pretty much the beginning of the bad eating day for me. by the time we got back to his parents house, when people werent looking, i was stuffing my face with chocolate. Dinner came and we went to a chinese banquet. When you are hot, annoyed and jja jang, the last thing you want to eat is chinese. But thats where we went. Everything had starch, salt, oil....i still feel gross from it. john did not want to sleep there that night becuz it was so hot so we came back home super late. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with his brother. We barely get to see him and the kids. John loves his niece and nephews.

monday, we woke up and i knew i was sick. Heat stroke or whatever it was..i did not feel good but i went out this compulsive cleaning day. I rearranged my whole house, closet, kitchen everything! i dont know why...i disinfected and did all these crazy cleaning things that i shouldnt be doing. John keeps insisting we need a maid and i wanted to show him otherwise. I dont want one..not for this tiny condo! i can handle it..he helps me alot too..i dont know what i was thinking but im paying for it today.

this morning we woke up and the power was out in hollywood. So i sat here eating the ice cream in my freezer becuz i didnt want it to melt. I had no tv, no lights, no ac..it was the heat and esther! best buddies..sitting there on the couch together..then at 5pm, God brought the power back! YEAH!!!

 

hey chicas! i first want to start off by saying, i love you both and miss you both tremendously!

 Oregon was great! elissa is amazingly smart, cute and talkative. She follows me around calling me ee mo. She doesnt not let the vietnamese cousins near her. Elissa is a total gangster and is kinda possessive. She hasnt learned sharing yet with her cousins. maybe she doesnt want to hang out with them because they are so ghetto! haha anyhow, i slept over my grandmas house monday night (last week) because our flight was at 640am. My grandma made me pack her stuff and do housework so we didnt sleep til midnight. We knew my mom was going to pick us up on her way to the airport at 4 so we were supposed to wake up at 330amish. At 2:30, my grandma thought i would be cold, so she makes her way into her bedroom (where i am sleeping) and proceeds to close a window and shuts her blinds. I think she assumed she was being quiet but it was freaken loud. So i didnt sleep at all that night..

flying with my grandma is interesting because she has knee replacements so she always buzzes the security checkpoint and has to do the whole back room search. Its kinda funny because when i was waiting for her, all these old grandmas and grandpas were in the back room. They probably all have some type of steel in their body from knee or hip replacements. haha our flight was delayed so we got to oregon at 10am.

 we pretty much spent the next couple days cooking, eating, playing with elissa and preparing for the party. The party was great! nam is so much more helpful now. i remember last year, esgel and i cleaned til 1am and he didnt lift a finger. This year, he told his family to leave at 10pm and helped us clean. I was shocked at how helpful he was..

I got back on sunday and was totally exhausted but had to prepare for an audition today. I have a call back for it on wednesday at 230 so pray for me.

 As for tomkat vs tods, you both know i took the tods job and told tomkat to keep in touch.

 Oh yeah, john and i pitched a reality show with johns friend david shaye at TLC last monday. we are waiting to hear back on if they want to buy it from us and if so, how many episodes. We wouldnt be working on it daily. We just kinda get a fee for every episode.

john seems depressed these days..he just doesnt seem happy at work or anything..i am trying to figure it out...

Unni, What a great idea!! Now we can we can talk in secret muhaa muhaah...

I'm in the process of getting a webcam for my lap top. esther, please do the same so we can all see each other. It's not the same when we're just emailing and on the phone.  I want to see unni's new perm.. and esther, I want to see you face to face to see your weight loss progress.. and get MOTIVATED!!

I survived my 1st week at work and I'm overwhelmed.. People work longer hours and don't take lunch breaks.  Stresses me out, cuz yano I need my snack break, coffee break, lunch break and a late lunch break.  Me and Grace have been eating out everyday this week.. I know we're bad..but the food is just too good here. Best SUSHI place up here is Kirala.. unni, grace said you went on a date there loong time ago back in college?  Amazing sushi, rivals IKE and maybe ABE!  yum yum.. 

I can't wait for Arnold to get up here.. less than two weeks!!  I'm going to be going to Stanford lot cuz they have so many events for students and their SO's [ Signifcant Others- that would be me =) ]   They have like an 80's dance coming up and you have to be full on decked out. I knew I shoulda kept all those scrunchies and wrist snaps!  

 Esther I can't wait to come down next week with grace and party it up for your b-day. Anything in particular you want to do after dinner??

 Here are some pic's from Europe..enjoy..  and from over the weekend w/ Sunnie. There are some kool bars up here.. We checked out SLIDE where you literally slide down the entrance. Sunnie and I did it, but we didn't think it was a good idea for Grace to do it.. in case she hurt her TOE again!